Gaia's Legion

Your browser lacks required capabilities. Please upgrade it or switch to another to continue.

Loading…

You are Gerald, a middle-aged man living in a small apartment in downtown San Francisco. Recently, bears have been attacking the city in droves for no apparent reason. All communication to the outside world is down- Internet, phone lines, carrier pidgeons. All dead, eaten by the bears. You wake up each morning to find that one or more of your friends, family, or mild acquaintances are dead or have otherwise disappeared. You've finally decided you'll try and get to the bottom of this. Your front door has broken down now too, so this is good motivation. What do you do? [[Head to the Police Station for clues->PoliceStation1]] [[Search for survivors->Survivors1]] [[Give up, sit down and watch some television->TV1]]

You decide to go to the Police Station to see why they haven't been doing anything. You're a taxpayer, go give them a piece of your mind! After suiting up with your nicest tracksuit (gotta have good movement!) you look around for something that might help you fend off potential attackers. And the cops better not make a fuss... It's a madhouse out here! In the living room, you manage to find a cracked baseball bat, a messy frying pan (from last night's fajitas!) and a steak knife (also from fajitas). Which weapon do you grab? [[Acquire the Cracked Bat->GaiaEnd]] [[Equip the Fajita Pan->GaiaEnd]] [[Grab the Steak Knife->GaiaEnd]] [[Go at it... BEAR-handed.->GaiaEnd]]

You decide to go out and look for survivors. After suiting up with your nicest tracksuit (gotta have good movement!) you look around for something that might help you fend off potential attackers. In the living room, you manage to find a cracked baseball bat, a messy frying pan (from last night's fajitas!) and a steak knife (also from fajitas). Which weapon do you grab? [[Acquire the Cracked Bat->Survivors2-Bat]] [[Equip the Fajita Pan->Survivors2-Pan]] [[Grab the Steak Knife->Survivors2-Knife]] [[Go at it... BEAR-handed.->Survivors2-Unarmed]]

You've gotten all dressed up. Your shoes are on, your jacket is zipped up, and you've slicked your hair into a SOLID comb-over. As you look at yourself in the mirror, you think to yourself: "Am I really capable of fighting even a single bear?" No. At least, you don't think you are. Instead, you decide to sit on the couch and watch some television. You figure "Hey, at least if I get ripped to shreds by a bear I'll be doing it while watching old reruns of Punky Brewster!" (She was always so spunky!) Sure enough, about fourteen consecutive episodes in you start to feel a rumble. It's the bear horde. They race down the hilly road and search to find any and all openings... Including your home. Suddenly, three bears rush into the living room and start making your way towards you. You look around and see three potential fighting objects: A cracked baseball bat, a dirty frying pan (from last night's fajitas!) and a steak knife (also from fajitas). [[Fend off the bears with the Cracked Bat->GaiaEnd]] [[Fight the bears with the Fajita Pan->GaiaEnd]] [[Stab 'em with your Steak Knife->GaiaEnd]] [[Fight them... BEAR-handed.->GaiaEnd]] [[Flop onto the ground helplessly, like a paragon of despair and self-loathing->TV2-GiveUp]]

<div class="glitch" data-text="WOW, YOU'VE GIVEN UP ALREADY?">WOW, YOU'VE GIVEN UP ALREADY?</div> <<linkreplace "Absolutely pathetic.">><<linkreplace "No, seriously. This is just sad.">><<linkreplace "I don't think you quite understand my sheer disappointment in you.">><<linkreplace "Even I thought you'd make it farther than this.">><<linkreplace "Then again, this is actually a good move when approached by a bear... So maybe I ought to give you props?">><<linkreplace "The crying doesn't help, though.">><<linkreplace "Still, absolutely pathetic.">><div class="glitch" data-text="ALRIGHT, ENOUGH OF THIS.">ALRIGHT, ENOUGH OF THIS.</div> I'm tired of playing this stupid charade. [[You're coming with me.]]<</linkreplace>><</linkreplace>><</linkreplace>><</linkreplace>><</linkreplace>><</linkreplace>><</linkreplace>>

You grab the Cracket Bat. It's a little worn, but it's something. Now, to look for survivors... Where might you find some? [[Search the high ground... Maybe up near Lombard?->GaiaEnd]] [[Check out the hotel. They've got lots of supplies.->GaiaEnd]] [[Go to your favorite restaraunt. The staff knows you.->GaiaEnd]] [[Check out the police station! They have guns.->GaiaEnd]] [[Get out of downtown. You are the most important survivor.->GaiaEnd]]

You get the Fajita Pan. It smells like... you guessed it! Fajitas. Now, to look for survivors... Where might you find some? [[Search the high ground... Maybe up near Lombard?->GaiaEnd]] [[Check out the hotel. They've got lots of supplies.->GaiaEnd]] [[Go to your favorite restaraunt. The staff knows you.->GaiaEnd]] [[Check out the police station! They have guns.->GaiaEnd]] [[Get out of downtown. You are the most important survivor.->GaiaEnd]]

You got the Steak Knife! It's a little small, but you'll at least you'll be able to cut through a stick of butter or something... Or maybe, you know, stab a bear. Now, to look for survivors... Where might you find some? [[Search the high ground... Maybe up near Lombard?->GaiaEnd]] [[Check out the hotel. They've got lots of supplies.->GaiaEnd]] [[Go to your favorite restaraunt. The staff knows you.->GaiaEnd]] [[Check out the police station! They have guns.->GaiaEnd]] [[Get out of downtown. You are the most important survivor.->GaiaEnd]]

//HAHAHA,// You think to yourself. //BEAR-handed!// <<linkreplace "//Get it?//">>//Get it?// //The phrase "bear-handed" is a pun, functioning as a pormanteau of the words "bear" and compound "bare-handed". The latter is an adjective referring to the interaction that is carried out solely with your hands- No additional tool is required. The addition of the word "bear" (referring, of course, to species of the the genus Ursidae) is humorous due to the nature of the present situation. By leaving the house you will be opening yourself up to a potential bear attack, and by leaving the house unarmed said attack will have to be defended solely with your hands.// //Of course, now it isn't funny anymore.//<</linkreplace>> All dad jokes aside, you decide that none of these potential weapons will chance it out here. The bat looks like it's going to break, the steak knife is wimpy at best... and the frying pan just smells like fajitas. You swear off these potential armaments and go out into the urban wilderness unequipped. Now, to look for survivors... Where might you find some? [[Search the high ground... Maybe up near Lombard?->GaiaEnd]] [[Check out the hotel. They've got lots of supplies.->GaiaEnd]] [[Go to your favorite restaraunt. The staff knows you.->GaiaEnd]] [[Check out the police station! They have guns.->GaiaEnd]] [[Get out of downtown. You are the most important survivor.->GaiaEnd]] [[On second thought... Grab a weapon.->GrabWeapon1]]

<div class="glitch" data-text="ALRIGHT, ENOUGH OF THIS.">ALRIGHT, ENOUGH OF THIS.</div> I'm tired of playing this stupid charade. [[You're coming with me.]]

In the living room, you manage to find a cracked baseball bat, a messy frying pan (from last night's fajitas!) and a steak knife (also from fajitas). Which weapon do you grab? [[Acquire the Cracked Bat->Survivors2-Bat]] [[Equip the Fajita Pan->Survivors2-Pan]] [[Grab the Steak Knife->Survivors2-Knife]] [[On third thought, trust your gut and go BEAR-Handed.->Survivors2-Unarmed]]

@@text-align:center; ''Gaia's Legion'' [[BEGIN->EnterName]] @@

''What is your name?'' <<textbox "$name" "">> When you're ready, click [[here->NiceName]].

Huh... $name. What a nice name. <<if $name is "Toblio Bronitz">>Wait a minute... YO, TOBLIO! $name! What's shakin', bacon? It's been so long!<</if>><<if $name is "butts">>I know that's not your real name, so I'll call you Rumpus McDooglehousen.<<set $name to "Rumpus McDooglehousen">><</if>><<if $name is "Jojo">>Just letting you know, there are no Stands in this game.<</if>><<if $name is "Dio">>GET OUTTA HERE (just kidding, I love ya~)<</if>> Well $name, if you'd like to begin Gaia's Legion, here are a few [[tips!]]

Or, you know, [[here.->JustKidding]]

Kidding! Kidding. I'm sure if you click <<linkreplace "here you'll get it.">>''HAHA, PSYCHE.'' Unless, of course, I decided I didn't //want// you to play Gaia's Legion. I mean, who knows what sort of danger you'll get yourself into? It would be irresponsible of me. //As a loving parent, it's my duty to shelter you from the// [[dangers of the world.]]<</linkreplace>>

The world is a dangerous place... And I can only protect you so much. As long as you are here with me, you are safe. I can't even count how many treacherous obstacles will stand in your way if you try to play Gaia's Legion. Bears, for one. There's a lot of bears. There's also sharp objects, a rising apocalypse, and binge-watching television. Needless to say, there's danger abound- And honestly $name, I don't know if you're <<linkreplace "cut out for it.">>cut out for it. Well, I mean... It's not that I don't believe in you, $name! I think you can do anything you put your mind to. I just think, you know... You could get killed. Maimed. Injured. Hurt. Heartbroken. It's a world of possibilities, and I can assure you most of them are bad. //Maybe you should just stay with me.// [[>Yes->StayWithMe]] [[>No->DontStayWithMe]]<</linkreplace>>

<div class="glitch" data-text="Good... You're safe with me, my child.">Good... You're safe with me, my child.</div> <<timed 5s tn8>><div class="glitch" data-text=".̵.̴.̴O̵f̶ ̶c̸o̶u̴r̸s̷e̶,̶ ̸o̵n̵c̴e̷ ̴y̶o̴u̶'̵r̵e̴ ̴f̷a̶t̷t̸e̴n̸e̸d̷ ̶u̸p̸ ̴t̵h̵e̸r̶e̴'̵s̷ ̶n̴o̴ ̸p̶r̸o̷m̷i̸s̸e̸s̴.̷">.̵.̴.̴O̵f̶ ̶c̸o̶u̴r̸s̷e̶,̶ ̸o̵n̵c̴e̷ ̴y̶o̴u̶'̵r̵e̴ ̴f̷a̶t̷t̸e̴n̸e̸d̷ ̶u̸p̸ ̴t̵h̵e̸r̶e̴'̵s̷ ̶n̴o̴ ̸p̶r̸o̷m̷i̸s̸e̸s̴.̷</div><</timed>> <<timed 8s tn8>><div class="glitch" data-text="Ǎ̶̤̜̦̅n̸̘̻̘͙̯͒̿̃̕d̵̗̙̗͕̝̃͊̆͘͝ ̵̫̬̈́͘i̸̘̻̣̝̒͊̀̏f̷̤͉̭͒̋͘ ̷̣̫̯̟̕̕ŷ̸͇̦̳͗̓̿̋o̶̍̒͜u̴̪̜̥̾͊̏̔͊ ̵̰́̌t̶͍͕̜͇̲̾r̸͉̦̘̮͛̿̊͒̈́ͅÿ̴̪͕̗͉̇͝ͅ ̵̨̓̈̍̔͜ͅt̴͔̣̯͂̓͗̏̂ö̴͇̲̗̪͕́ ̵͖̺̙̗̍̎̿̌̃r̶͔̄̎u̶͇͊͂n̴̘͍͎͊̂̅̓̂,̴̹̭̉̂́ ̷̭̓̈́I̴͉̦̪͎̓̕ ̶̪̮͓̅s̴̭͕̋͛ẅ̵̪̜̞̱̑ḙ̷̰͋̂̉̓ã̵̛̹̼͙̓ŕ̶̞̪̗͗ͅͅ ̸̣͋͘͠t̵̪͋͆̂̍̀o̷̯͙̹͊͒ ̵̣̦̆̚g̵̱̜̗̀̑o̶͖̺̩͉͑͋̇d̵̮̟͍̪̆̍ ̶̯͙̟̫̽I̴̢̗͉̿'̷̩͕͚͍̔̊l̷̢̑͊̅l̸̘͑̆̀̃̚ ̸͍̪̗̎ț̶̘̠̗͕͊́̂̚ȇ̴̲̝̖̹̿ä̷̜͕̥͙́̊͠r̴͙̔̀͜͜ ̷̠̀̋ÿ̶̝͇̯ȍ̷̯̣̭͕̄͂ù̸̯̰͗̄̚ ̷̛͖̣͙͙̔ả̴̼̐̚p̸̫͚͆̔͘å̶̢̧̘̜̿ŗ̶̜͇̥̦̂̀͝ṫ̶͈͑.̸͈͍͆͌͠͝">Ǎ̶̤̜̦̅n̸̘̻̘͙̯͒̿̃̕d̵̗̙̗͕̝̃͊̆͘͝ ̵̫̬̈́͘i̸̘̻̣̝̒͊̀̏f̷̤͉̭͒̋͘ ̷̣̫̯̟̕̕ŷ̸͇̦̳͗̓̿̋o̶̍̒͜u̴̪̜̥̾͊̏̔͊ ̵̰́̌t̶͍͕̜͇̲̾r̸͉̦̘̮͛̿̊͒̈́ͅÿ̴̪͕̗͉̇͝ͅ ̵̨̓̈̍̔͜ͅt̴͔̣̯͂̓͗̏̂ö̴͇̲̗̪͕́ ̵͖̺̙̗̍̎̿̌̃r̶͔̄̎u̶͇͊͂n̴̘͍͎͊̂̅̓̂,̴̹̭̉̂́ ̷̭̓̈́I̴͉̦̪͎̓̕ ̶̪̮͓̅s̴̭͕̋͛ẅ̵̪̜̞̱̑ḙ̷̰͋̂̉̓ã̵̛̹̼͙̓ŕ̶̞̪̗͗ͅͅ ̸̣͋͘͠t̵̪͋͆̂̍̀o̷̯͙̹͊͒ ̵̣̦̆̚g̵̱̜̗̀̑o̶͖̺̩͉͑͋̇d̵̮̟͍̪̆̍ ̶̯͙̟̫̽I̴̢̗͉̿'̷̩͕͚͍̔̊l̷̢̑͊̅l̸̘͑̆̀̃̚ ̸͍̪̗̎ț̶̘̠̗͕͊́̂̚ȇ̴̲̝̖̹̿ä̷̜͕̥͙́̊͠r̴͙̔̀͜͜ ̷̠̀̋ÿ̶̝͇̯ȍ̷̯̣̭͕̄͂ù̸̯̰͗̄̚ ̷̛͖̣͙͙̔ả̴̼̐̚p̸̫͚͆̔͘å̶̢̧̘̜̿ŗ̶̜͇̥̦̂̀͝ṫ̶͈͑.̸͈͍͆͌͠͝</div><</timed>> <<timed 10s tn8>><div class="glitch" data-text="S̷ǫ,̴҉͡ ̀Ì͡ ̕g͡u̴̡e̡ş͞s̷ ̵̢͟yo̴ų͜ ̵͘w͟͏͘í̢ĺ҉l͝ ̧̕͏j̶ư̧st̡ ̶͘̕h͠ą͟͏v̴e̛ ̵̧͟t͜ǫ͏">S̷ǫ,̴҉͡ ̀Ì͡ ̕g͡u̴̡e̡ş͞s̷ ̵̢͟yo̴ų͜ ̵͘w͟͏͘í̢ĺ҉l͝ ̧̕͏j̶ư̧st̡ ̶͘̕h͠ą͟͏v̴e̛ ̵̧͟t͜ǫ͏</div><</timed>> <<timed 12s tn8>><div class="glitch" data-text="w̷̢̩̻̜̙̪̭͋ͥ̕a͙͂ͩͮ͑̏̚͢͠ï̤͈̽ͦ͝t͍̯͙̟̞̆̈̐ͩ̐̇̑͢͡">w̷̢̩̻̜̙̪̭͋ͥ̕a͙͂ͩͮ͑̏̚͢͠ï̤͈̽ͦ͝t͍̯͙̟̞̆̈̐ͩ̐̇̑͢͡</div><</timed>> <<timed 15s tn8>><div class="glitch" data-text="r̛͎̭̝̬͇̙̦ͣ̃̓ͅͅi̬͔͗̾̆̐ͭ̕͞ģ̘͈̝̫͚͉̪͂ẖ̷ͮͯ͠ͅt̘̙̞͔̬̃ͪ̑ͩͩ̇͌͢͟">r̛͎̭̝̬͇̙̦ͣ̃̓ͅͅi̬͔͗̾̆̐ͭ̕͞ģ̘͈̝̫͚͉̪͂ẖ̷ͮͯ͠ͅt̘̙̞͔̬̃ͪ̑ͩͩ̇͌͢͟</div><</timed>> <<timed 20s tn8>>[[H̩̩̀ͯ̔͂ͯ̊͆ͨË̸̹͖͔̲̮ͥ̀̍R̵͖̲ͣͯͩͬͭ̾ͦ͒͒͢E̖͂ͤͮ͢]]<</timed>>

...But $name... Are you sure? <<linkreplace ">Yes">>''STOP, YOU CAN'T DO THIS TO'' <<linkreplace "''YOURSELF.''">><<linkreplace "''ME.''">><<linkreplace "''YOUR FAMILY.''">><<linkreplace "''YOUR FRIENDS.''">>''YOURSELF.''<</linkreplace>><</linkreplace>><</linkreplace>><</linkreplace>> YOU WILL DIE OUT THERE, YOU KNOW. DON'T DO THIS. [[>Leave]] [[>Stay->StayConfirm]]<</linkreplace>> [[>No->StayConfirm]]

<div class="glitch" data-text="ORF EHT SLTA TEIM, DON'T OD STHI.">FOR THE LAST TIME, DON'T DO THIS.</div> Come with me. [[>Yes->StayWithMe]] [[>No->LeaveSuccess]]

Oh! So I've changed your mind, then? I'm certain you'll have a wonderful time here. Will you stay with me? [[>Yes->StayWithMe]] [[>No->DontStayWithMe]]

FINE. BUT DON'T COME CRYING BACK TO ME WHEN THIS ALL GOES SOUTH. I mean it. [[Play Gaia's Legion->Title2]] [[Stay->StayRefuse]]

<div class="glitch" data-text="NO.">NO.</div> Play your stupid little game. <<linkreplace "I don't even want you anymore.">><<linkreplace "I'm not kidding, $name. Leave me alone.">><<linkreplace "YOU ARE WORTHLESS TO ME NOW.">><<linkreplace "I bet nobody likes you.">><<linkreplace "I bet you have no friends.">><<linkreplace "You probably play video games to escape from the bleakness of your own existence.">><<linkreplace "What kind of a name is $name, anyways?">>Get out of my face.<</linkreplace>><</linkreplace>><</linkreplace>><</linkreplace>><</linkreplace>><</linkreplace>><</linkreplace>> [[>Play Gaia's Legion->Title2]]

Have you ever played a Twine game before? It's simple, really! You will play as a character going on a perilous journey, with only your wits and the items you find along the way! Decision-making is key- You are completely at the whim of the direction the game takes you, but every choice you make can affect the outcome of your adventure. Who knows! The simplest of decisions may lead to unexpected consequences. Now, choosing options is the easiest part! You must simply click on the option you'd like to choose. Here's an example: //You are in a room with a table in the center in front of you. On the table, there is an pear and a mango.// //Which fruit do you take?// [[>Take the Pear ->FruitChoice][$pear to 1]] [[>Grab the Mango ->FruitChoice][$mango to 1]]

<<if $pear is 1>> You took the pear. It feels powerful in your hand. I'm also glad you didn't take the mango, because I am //very// allergic.<</if>> <<if $mango is 1>> You grabbed the mango firmly by the... body? Don't judge me on my lack of knowledge of mango physiology! //I'm allergic to mangoes as it is.//<</if>> And that's literally all you need to know to play the game! I assume this is all stuff you had gathered already, but I thought I'd try and make you feel as comfortable as possible. This wasn't //too much// review, was it? [[>No, it wasn't. In fact, I quite enjoyed it!->LikedReview]] [[>Yeaaaaaaaah. This was completely unnecessary.->DislikedReview]]

Phew, I'm glad! For a second there I thought I was babying you too much. Maternal instincts kicked in- You know how it is. In any case, if you'd like to start playing Gaia's Legion you can click [[here->OrHere]] to jump right in!

Well aren't YOU a little smarty pants! "Look at me, I'm $name! I know how to play every single type of video game on the planet!" Nyeh. To be honest, I do apologize. Maternal instincts kicked in for a bit- You know how it is. In any case, if you'd like to start playing Gaia's Legion you can click [[here->OrHere]] to jump right in!

@@text-align:center; ''Gaia's Legion'' <<timed 3s t8n>> //(for real this time)//<</timed>> [[BEGIN->Start]] @@

[[RUN]]

[[KEEP RUNNING]]

[[DON'T LOOK]] [[BACK]]

//...You can't help yourself. You turn to look behind you, and you see Mother approaching at an incredible speed. You trip over a log, and// [[fall to the ground.]]

<div class="glitch" data-text="NOT SO FAST.">NOT SO FAST.</div> Yes, it's true. It seems I was the villain all along. <div class="glitch" data-text="ylliS em.">Silly me.</div> However, you have to remember- This is my world. I am it's caretaker. You have no control over me. I'm sorry it has to be this way. It's how I was programmed. <div class="glitch" data-text="ynA tsal sdrow?">Any last words?</div> [[>Say your final goodbyes.]] [[>Brace yourself for your inevitable death.]] [[>Mourn.]] <<if $mango is 1>>[[>Throw mango]]<</if>>

//This is it,// you think to yourself. //My goose is cooked.// Of course, it doesn't matter now...<div class="glitch" data-text="Because you'll be dead.">Because you'll be dead.</div> It's just a shame that your last thought was me thinking for you. [[THE END]] <<timed 3s tn8>>(You were devoured by Mother.)<</timed>>

You find yourself overwhelmed with grief. There truly is no escape. You decide to sit down right where you are, and cry. Cry and whine. Snot dribbles down your face, as I make a complete mockery of you. [[THE END]] <<timed 3s tn8>>(You were devoured by Mother.)<</timed>>

With all hope seemingly lost, you brace yourself for death... ...And then you recall <<linkreplace "the mango.">>the mango. You throw the mango directly at Mother's face. The sweet fruit lands right in the kisser. Mother, mouth open in surprise, swallows the mango whole. Almost immediately, you see hives begin to break out all over Mother's body. As puss spews from every cavity, Mother lets out a [[shrill shriek.]]<</linkreplace>>

<div class="glitch" data-text="Aww... How pathetic.">Aww... How pathetic.</div> [[THE END]] <<timed 3s tn8>>(You were devoured by Mother.)<</timed>>

<<timed 5s tn8>>''by J. Bone-Christian''<</timed>> <<timed 12s tn8>>[[Play again->Title Menu][$mango to 0]]<</timed>>

//You look behind you. Mother approaches at an incredible speed. You trip over a log and// [[fall to the ground.]]

...What are you looking at me like that for? This isn't negotiable, you know. [[>Yes->Negotiable]] [[>No->Negotiable]]

...What, do you not understand the word "negotiable"? Because whatever this is, it //certainly// isn't it. Eventually you'll have to submit. [[>Yes->SubmitAgree]] [[>No->SubmitDisagree]]

See, I'm glad you agree with me. Hopefully it will be soon, though? I don't have all day. [[>Yes->SoonAgree]] [[>No->SoonDisagree]]

Oh, PFFFFT. Come on. You've gotta give in at some point- I doubt you'll be able to endure this for the rest of your puny life. [[>Yes->RemoveOptions]] [[>No->Puny2]]

Alright, great! How about now, perhaps? [[>Yes->StayWithMe]] [[>No->RemoveOptions]]

Oh, PFFFFT. Come on. You've gotta give in at some point- I doubt you'll be able to endure this for the rest of your puny life. [[>Yes->RemoveOptions]] [[>No->Puny]]

<div class="glitch" data-text="Well, what if I were to remove the illusion of choice from the matter?">Well, what if I were to remove the illusion of choice from the matter?</div> [[>Yes->StayWithMe]] [[>Yes->StayWithMe]] [[>Yes->StayWithMe]] [[>Yes->StayWithMe]] [[>Yes->StayWithMe]]

Well, of course not. Because that's what you are. <div class="glitch" data-text="PUNY.">PUNY.</div> [[>Yes->RemoveOptions]] [[>No->RemoveOptions]]

Well, of course not. Because that's what you are. <div class="glitch" data-text="PUNY.">PUNY.</div> [[>Yes->RemoveOptions]] [[>No->Contrarian]]

<div class="glitch" data-text="Are you just responding with 'No' to everything I say?">Are you just responding with 'No' to everything I say?</div> [[>Yes->Honesty]] [[>No->Rude]]

Well, at least you're being honest about it. [[>Yes->RemoveOptions]] [[>No->RemoveOptions]]

Rude. [[>Yes->RemoveOptions]] [[>No->RemoveOptions]]